For as long as I can remember, my parents regularly took me, and sometimes dragged me, to church (EPC Osijek). Dad was an elder for a while, and later a pastor, so I was at church at least a few times a week. I don't remember being absent from church, even when there was an important football match, or when good friends invited me to birthday parties. As a child, I accepted all of this and as the youngest of five brothers lived a characteristic childhood in an authentic Christian family. Everything went along as usual until I was ten, and then something special started.
It’s Sunday afternoon, evening worship. I sit in the balcony half-interested, but my gaze is fixed on the pianist in the church. The way she played was special, and although I had no musical knowledge, her talent, skill and sincerity in conducting the worship service were recognizable. I remember her name was Carol and she was American. At one point, completely preoccupied with her brilliant playing, I thought to myself, "Dear God, if I can ever play like Carol, I will give all my music to You!". After the service we went home and nothing special happened. Or rather, yes, very typical for me, I added another thought to God: "But God, but under no circumstances will I go to music school."
One day, without any special reason, my dad decided to give me and my brothers something as a gift - something for about a hundred kuna. Everyone said their wishes, and I, without hesitation, said: "I want a synthesizer!". Dad looked at me, waved his hand away and said that I don’t know how to play and should choose something else. Then I shouted: "If you don't buy it for me, I will never know how to play!!!" I was so persistent, - I didn't want to eat, I cried inexplicably for a long time because for some reason I wanted it so much. After so much overreacting to my parents, my dad finally took me to the store and bought my first synthesizer. It was very small, 4 octaves, tiny keys, almost like a miniature pocket copy. I can’t begin to explain the happiness and enthusiasm I felt, nor can I explain why I wanted it so badly. At that time, it didn’t occur to me that my sincere request to God had already been heard.
One day after school my best friend (Alen) came and showed me C major, F major and G major. This is where all my musical ‘education’ ended. I continue to study alone, but not completely alone!
The enormous desire to practice led to the fact that I needed a bigger synth and we somehow managed to buy it. I practiced like crazy. After 3 years I could only learn by listening to songs on the radio, literally playing all the melodies and chords I heard. I started to create harmonies that I didn’t understand, but I had some ‘logic’ of my own. I stubbornly refused to go to music school. I even had an ‘offer’ from one person that if I went to music school, they would buy me a piano! I didn’t take him up on his offer. I continued to practice persistently: 4 to 5 hours a day. After only a year I needed a much more serious instrument.
We as a family lived modestly and could not afford a keyboard that cost around 1000 marks at the time! I decided to save and even avoided the normal snack time at school. I was often hungry if I didn't enjoy a bite from a friend. When I raised about a third of the amount in a few months, Dad said he could only give another third. I continued to save, and then one day Dad came home from work (the church) and said that one man had given all the remaining amount to buy the instrument. In those days without the internet, we only had “want ads” to search for used instruments (I didn't have the money for a new synth). We found a good offer from Čakovec, got in the car and by evening the synth was in my room. Joy again, but I still didn't realize that God was at work.
In the summer of 1994, I dedicated my life to God (at the camp in Orahovica). That same year, in the fall, Carol was returning to America and the piano in the church no longer had anyone to play! But piano and synth are not the same and I never thought I could sit and play the piano - let alone at worship.
One Sunday after the service, Carol approached me and said she wanted to pray for my hands and for my gift. The prayer was short but sincere. I became fully aware that this was the answer to my desire as a ten-year-old. A few weeks later the worship team leader told me that if I wanted I could join them! I was shocked, but I agreed. I gave him a list of about twenty songs I ‘knew’ and hoped he would put them on the list on Sunday. Of course, out of the seven songs at the service, I knew two, but the whole team encouraged me and told me to just keep practicing and that God would use it.
The enormous amount of fanatical practice, even for 7 or 8 hours a day, was becoming so obvious from Sunday to Sunday that people approached me and said they couldn’t believe how well I was playing. It’s hard to in any way explain that insatiable hunger for rehearsing and ‘downloading’ songs. I played in church regularly 3 to 4 times a week, - truly atypical for an adolescent.
My musical story turned around in 1997 when I left Osijek and with great sadness I left my home church where this all began, and went to study architecture in Zagreb. I had a slightly guilty conscience leaving the church piano vacant, but the then youth leader and leader of worship told me that I owed nothing to the community and that I had given everything I could. There would now be another place to continue my musical journey. Looking for a church in Zagreb where I could continue to serve God and people with music, I stopped at the Baptist Church. Ivica Horvat, who was playing at the time, was happy to surrender to me the position of “piano player” in the church.
I am now 41 years old. I still enjoy being used in music, in worship, in church! God did not give me the ability overnight, but He gave me an inexplicable desire to practice. The many music projects I've been involved in, many CDs with various artists, and thousands of liturgies - all have testified to my miraculous musical journey, directed by the Giver of Gifts, who only needs a sincere and obedient heart - even if it was the heart of a ten-year-old kid!
"Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen." - Ephesians 3:20-21
