I was born in a Christian family and I went to church as a child. I have known about God since I was a child, and I would always listen to stories about him and how he loves us. I always felt like I had always known him. Towards the end of elementary school, I slowly began to understand that I don't want to live for the world but for God.
I began to be surrounded by things that I didn't feel comfortable with, and that I did not enjoy. I saw it most in my friends from school, - everyone was self-absorbed and lived only to satisfy themselves and their needs. It didn't take me long to realize that I didn't want to go down that road. But if not that way, then which way?...
At that time I was not too interested in solving it, and continued to live my life thinking that I was better than others and that I lacked nothing. When I got to high school, I enjoyed myself with my new friends and everything seemed great. At that time, I went to KOMPAS, i.e. the youth meetings that were held in our church, and there I met and got to know new faces. Everyone had their own story, where they came from and what they do, but in one thing we were the same, we were looking for answers on how to live and how to know God. It wasn't long until I started going to various conferences and youth camps. I would always have a good time with my friends and spend quality time, but I would also exchange opinions on the topics they were talking about. During such fellowship, I would feel as if I could do anything and as if nothing could stand in my way of faith. But unfortunately, that feeling of power and fulfillment would never last long. Just a few days after finishing and returning home, I had to go back to school and continue with a boring life full of obligations. It didn't take long for me to forget about what they told us about and what they taught us about God.
This pace of my life has been spinning for the last few years, until last summer when I started to think more seriously and more about God. I had a greater desire than ever to get to know him better and to follow the path he wants me to follow.
I realized that if I really want to know God and be close to Him, I have to give up bad habits such as cheating, lying, disrespecting my parents and the like. I began to pray that he would free me from those things that are harmful to our relationship, because I knew that I would never succeed in this alone….
During that period, I went through all kinds of situations in which I wondered why God allows it and does it that way. I had moments of doubt, moments in which fear would overcome me and then it seemed to me that there was no way out. I also had times where I would sin, and I would think that I was not worthy of his love and that I was so bad that there was no way I could return to Him.
But God is not that kind of God, He forgives and loves us. He was always by my side, through good and bad times, he never left me and now I know that.
Life with God is not simple, not even easy. I am aware that in the future I will encounter 100 more problems and situations in which I will not care, but I know one thing: God will always be with me no matter what I go through, and no matter where I am, because He is a God who loves, forgives, and protects.